Even though this is a column targeted at women readers, every now and then I like to write something that will interest men as well. What better topic to write about than a woman’s G-spot, that almost-mythical female pleasure spot?
THE G-spot is probably the most talked-about aspect of sexual relations as it is believed to be able to produce very powerful female orgasms. Yet, it remains elusive to many. For many women (and men), finding the G-spot is practically a lifetime endeavour. Some may never find it … but half the fun is in the finding!
Does it exist?
Is the G-spot real, or just an idea cooked up by a woman to make things more challenging for men? Well, conventional wisdom indicates that it does exist in some women but not in others, and that the sensitivity varies for every woman. The G-spot is an area located about one to two inches inside the vagina on the front wall (the “front” wall is the wall of the vagina on the same side as the belly button). The area consists of the bean-shaped spongy tissue of the paraurethral gland – it is to women what the prostate is to men.
When a woman is not sexually aroused, the actual area is no bigger than a pea, but once she is aroused, it increases to the size of a small coin. This is because the G-spot is composed of erectile tissue and swells up when blood rushes to it. It feels rougher to the touch than the surrounding tissue, rather like a walnut compared to the smooth, silky wall of the vagina. It was named after a gynaecologist called Dr Ernst Gräfenberg, who first described the G- spot in the 1940s.
So how does one find this mysterious spot? The most commonly recommended method is to insert the forefinger and crook it into a “come here” motion towards the front vaginal wall, sliding your fingertip along the top of the vagina until you find an area that is rougher than the rest of that vaginal wall. Foreplay is important because a woman will be more sensitive if she is already sexually aroused. Experiment with the pressure and length of the stroke to find out what feels best.
Some women do not enjoy manual stimulation of the G-spot, but may enjoy penile stimulation during intercourse. It helps if the man’s penis has a natural upward bend and is able to make contact with the G-spot, but different positions may also work, such as the “woman on top” or the posterior position, or raising the woman’s pelvis. It’s quite likely that you will not be able to find the G-spot on your first try. Women should not be shy to tell their partners what they are feeling during stimulation, and what feels particularly sensitive.
Gee, what does it feel like?
Different women have described different sensations with stimulation of the G-spot. Some women say that the first sensation is similar to the need to urinate – this is possibly because the G-spot is on the front wall, therefore pushing against the bladder. However, when you become comfortable with it, you may be fortunate enough to experience a powerful orgasm, or even multiple orgasms if the G-spot is stimulated repetitively.
Some women even claim to ejaculate when their G-spot is stimulated. Research shows that approximately 10% of women release between 9ml and 900ml of fluid from the urethra during such an orgasm.
Despite all the hype built up around the G-spot, we have to face the fact that not all women are G-spot-sensitive. Some women actually find G-spot stimulation to be uncomfortable or simply produce no sensation at all. It is believed that women can intensify their ability to have G-spot orgasms by doing Kegel exercises to strengthen their pelvic floor muscles. Age may also make a difference in the type of orgasms women achieve. For most young women under 30, their relatively high oestrogen levels lead to thicker vaginal walls. Hence, it is more difficult to directly stimulate their G-spot area.
After their 30s, however, women’s oestrogen levels begin to decline, causing the vaginal lining to become thinner and the G-spot to become more accessible. So you may find G- spot orgasms more likely during your early to mid-30s. Nonetheless, you don’t have to build your entire sex life around that little area known as the G-spot. If you and your partner take it too seriously, it may even end up ruining your enjoyment of sex.
If you don’t have a sensitive G-spot, just accept it. The clitoris and urethra are other erogenous zones that can be stimulated to provide pleasure. So experiment and explore other ways to improve your sex life.
The Star Newspaper, Sunday April 5, 2009
By DR NOR ASHIKIN MOKHTAR