Throughout Malaysia, as well as across much of South-East Asia, parents, teachers and health workers are reporting a troubling pattern: many teenage boys are becoming more aggressive, irritable, and even violent.
From schoolyard brawls to cyberbullying and racist rants at the dinner table, in the classroom or online, these bad attitudes and behaviours are happening more often, and they seem to be getting worse.
Teenagers have always been wired for rebellion, but today’s youthful aggression seems different – more volatile and less controlled – likely compounded by new media pressures and enhanced online realities, on top of age-old adolescent growing pains.
It is important for us to grasp why this trend is occurring, so that we can help our young people learn to be emotionally and socially stronger.
Biological developments
The teenage brain undergoes massive neurological changes. The prefrontal cortex, which mediates reasoning, impulse control and empathy, keeps maturing until our mid-20s. At the same time, the limbic system – which handles emotion and seeking of rewards – is already juiced up when kids reach their teenage years.
This disparity contributes to an increased potential for greater impulsivity and emotionality in adolescents. Hormonal fluctuations only add to this explosiveness.
Spikes in testosterone and other sex hormones might enhance irritability and emotionality, especially when they’re happening against the background of sleep deprivation, which is rampant in Malaysia among students who are stressed by both academic demands and tuition, as well as from using social media until late at night.
Sleep deprivation has been linked to increased impulsivity, poor decision-making and emotional instability. All of these compromise effective self-control and contribute to aggressive behaviour.
Emotional distress
Issues with teenage mental health have become increasingly common in recent times. Based on the 2019 National Health and Morbidity Survey (NHMS), one out of five Malaysian adolescents experienced depressive symptoms and a tenth admitted to having suicidal thoughts.
Emotional pain, if unacknowledged or invalidated, can come out as anxiety, stress, loneliness and aggression – not necessarily sadness – particularly in boys. Most adolescents today have very poor emotional regulation skills.
When they experience stress, disappointment or conflict with peers, they may react by lashing out rather than expressing themselves in words. Stigma about mental health in some families and schools also drives many adolescents to suffer in silence, expressing their frustration through anger as the lone socially-acceptable escape.
Childhood trauma, neglect and bullying – in the real world and online – can wreak lasting psychological havoc. According to a 2022 report by Unicef Malaysia, more than 20% of Malaysian youth experienced some form of cyberbullying, which has caused heightened anxiety, isolation and retaliatory aggression.
Family environment
Family structures influence behaviour in a very important way. Contemporary Malaysian families are becoming more and more pressured economically, resulting in dual working parents and less family time. This can lead to relationships that are emotionally disconnected or inconsistently disciplinarian, and reduce the child’s power of self-soothing and conflict resolution.
When children are exposed to parents arguing, verbal aggression or domestic distress inside their home, these negative conflict behaviours become internalised as acceptable coping strategies. On the other hand, being overprotected or experiencing excessive strictness stifles healthy emotional expression, which leads to rebellion or defiance in adolescence.
What’s more, with urbanisation and academic competition on the rise, many families are inadvertently communicating to their kids that success matters more than a sense of emotional well-being.
Teenagers who are constantly stressed out or feeling unseen or misunderstood, may end up acting out as a form of protest or a bid for attention.
Social media influence
Social media has changed how young people connect with one another, as well as how they express their anger. Social media apps such as TikTok and Instagram, and online gaming communities make violent content available to teens, and even promote toxic challenges (like the salt-and-ice challenge or the pass-out game) that can be dangerous.
A 2023 study by CyberSecurity Malaysia found that a quarter of teenagers had experienced cyberbullying or had been exposed to violence online. Youth become desensitised to aggression from prolonged exposure, and cyberbullying provides a channel for hostility that often goes unpunished.
There is also the issue of impulsiveness, fanned by online anonymity. Behind screens, adolescents will say or do things they might not in real life, feeding hostile acts that can spill over into the real world. The incessant search for validation in the form of likes and followers compounds that pressure, resulting in frustration and mood swings when those expectations aren’t fulfilled.
School and community factors
Schools are frequently the first places where aggressive behaviour among adolescents become evident. Educators are seeing increased behavioural problems, from classroom interruptions to physical altercations.
Contributing factors include:
- Academic pressure and competition, especially in exam- focused systems.
- Bullying and social exclusion, which are frequently underreported.
- Lack of counselling support, particularly at underresourced public schools.
A 2021 study by the Malaysian Crime Prevention Foundation found cases of school-based violence and bullying had risen almost 20% in the past five years, with many linked to social media arguments or peer provocation.
In some settings, being surrounded by crime, poverty or domestic upheaval also boosts the likelihood of aggression. Violence within the neighbourhood and lack of access to safe recreational spaces can legitimise aggressive behaviour as a means of self-preservation or social dominance.
Cultural and political changes
Old-school Asian values of respect for elders, family discipline and community-mindedness now rub awkwardly up against more individualistic thinking driven by Western media and globalisation. On the one hand, more openness for young people is conducive to their empowerment.
On the other, it creates identity disorientation, peer comparison and intergenerational value conflict. In Malaysia, the communication breakdowns arise particularly from a generational divide between tech-savvy youth and traditional parents.
Teens think they’re misunderstood, while parents see defiance. Without honest communication, this common frustration can lead to opposition or open rebellion. The most subtle, but destructive, cost of all is emotional disconnection.
Even as they’re more “connected” than ever, a lot of teenagers seem to feel lonely and invisible. Screentime has replaced having an empathetic face-to-face conversation, leading towards less empathy and decreasing social aptitude.
As young people find it difficult to empathise with others, they are also more likely to react aggressively when experiencing problems. Isolation, coupled with less involvement in the community and fewer people acting as mentors, does little to provide them with a model for adaptive behaviour.
What can be done
Parents can take the following actions:
> Model calm behaviour
Adolescents frequently mirror adults’ emotional reactions. By dealing with stress appropriately and speaking respectfully, parents can lead by example.
> Create connection
Eating together, engaging in activities together and talking freely encourage trust and emotional safety.
> Monitor online activity
Parents should monitor online activity in a cooperative and non-intrusive manner, discussing the importance of safe and responsible internet use with their children.
> Encourage sleep and balance
Ensuring enough sleep, being physically active and limiting screen time helps children better manage their emotions.
> Seek early help
If your child’s unusually aggressive behaviour or withdrawal continues, seek help from a counsellor, psychologist or family doctor. Early resolvement of problems can help avoid complications. Meanwhile, schools and educators can:
> Teach emotional discipline
Incorporate lessons on empathy, self-awareness and conflict resolution in class.
> Train to spot behavioural warning signs
Schools can train educators to recognise behaviours that indicate trouble before it’s too late, and guide students toward the help they need.
> Reinforce anti-bullying efforts
Enforce policies focused on preventing physical and cyber bullying.
> Provide access to mental health services
Use resources linked with schools or in partnership with community healthcare providers. And healthcare providers can:
> Perform regular mental health screens
Include mental health screening as part of the standard check-up when an adolescent patient comes for a consultation.
ALSO READ: Mental health care should be primary care
> Family-centered counselling
Improve relational patterns through counselling that takes the family system into account.
> Collaborate with schools and community groups
Work together to help raise awareness of mental health concerns and advocate for early intervention.
By Datuk Dr Nor Ashikin Mokhtar
Published in Star Newspaper, 17 Nov 2025
